I wrote a book!!!

And by that I mean… I wrote a first draft of a novel!!! As writers, we seem addicted to learning about one another's process so here's a bit about my process with the acknowledgment that I have no credentials to give advice other than the fact that I’ve written enough words to take up 360 pages of a paperback.

How to write a novel

1. Don't. Seriously there is so much beauty in the imaginary. In your head, everything is perfect. If you put it down, it won't be perfect. At least not the first draft or any draft. You could always be your generation’s best writer in your head and it's tougher to face the reality of an ill-formed word salad first draft. Permission to live in your fantasy.

2. Take a how-to-write-a-novel class with no idea what you want to write about. There was that paragraph in your MFA application where you said what you wanted to write a novel about. Start with that.

3. Create an outline, any outline.

4. Start writing 40 minutes a day. Don't miss more than one day. Some days there will be 200 words, other days there will be many more than that. Track your progress with a sticker chart or marbles in a jar or whatever will fill your heart with a bit of happy chemicals after each day because the writing itself will not be providing you with happy chemicals at this point.

5. Don't tell anyone you're writing a novel.

6. People the closest to you who absolutely need to know what you're doing for 40 minutes a day can know you're writing a novel. When they ask what it's about, say you have no idea.

7. Write 4000-6000 words a week. The first draft doesn't need to be great, it just needs to exist. Let it be bad like really really bad.

8. Edit the outline four more times.

9. Don't re-read anything you’ve written, just keep going until the end.

10. Don't show anyone anything.

11. Around maybe 40,000 - 50,000 words written everything will get extremely boring. You'll know when you reach it. I knew when it happened. The characters had been in the same scene for over a week of writing and the main character spent a page lingering over a banana peel in a non-poetic way. This is the time to tell people you're writing a novel. Anyone except for other writers. Other writers want to project their entire existence on this fact that you're writing a novel. They'll say they're talking about you but they'll be talking about themselves. Tell the person who hasn't written more than a birthday card since their freshman year writing seminar. They will be floored flabbergasted and filled with applause. It'll be like telling that stuck up creative writing professor you had, who has spent far too long in a musty office and not enough time touching grass, that you won the Pulitzer Prize. They'll be esctatic. They'll marvel at your prowess. It will motivate you to the next boring day of writing.

12. Choose a final day that will be the end no matter what. My first draft writing went from some day in January 2023 to June 1st 2023.

13. Print out your first draft. It's worth the $37.99

14. I have no idea what you do next. People who have written a novel, maybe comment and let me know ????

Something to read - Atomic Habits by James Clear - It is hard for me to not bring up atomic habits three times per week. I credit this book almost entirely for starting to write so regularly again. It’s near-perfect antidote to perfectionism paralysis.

Something to write - It is June and thus the world feels easy to love. Write a list of things you like. You can write 25 things or you can write for 10 minutes. A list of some of mine is at the end of this newsletter.

This newsletter will now be in your inbox once every 2 weeks. YAY 4 US! Look out for my pride themed sex ed questions answered in two weeks :) If you have a question you want answered, please write it anonymously here.

Love,

Zoe

P.S. I’m hoping to add 10 new subscribers this month. If you enjoyed reading this, please share it with someone you love using the button below!