sex ed questions answered #3

how do you know if you have a crush on someone?

September will always mean back to school. Even if you’re not going back to school yourself, it’s hard to ignore. When I took my dog out this morning, there was a parade of students walking to the schools at the end of my block. An elementary schooler holding her mom’s hand said, “I actually think I hate my dress.” Her mom responded, “No, honey I thought we just decided it’s perfect!” A middle schooler wearing shoes so crisp they squeaked on the sidewalk almost bumped into me while texting but I quickly stepped out of the way. This is her day.

I remember late elementary and middle school being the time when the performance of the first day of school felt the most high stakes. For my first day of fifth grade, I didn’t quite know how to online shop yet so I bought three pairs of clear jelly sandals from Gap. They all didn’t fit.

When I teach about puberty in middle school classrooms, I talk about the emotional effects of puberty like developing self-consciousness and mood swings. During that part, the classroom was always silent with attention- a true rarity in a classroom where fourth graders are hearing a teacher say penis over and over again.

At the end of each class, middle schoolers would create a large pile of handwritten anonymous questions. They would ask the greatest questions that so capture the tenderness of this back to school time. Here’s a sample question and answer (for more on my approach to anonymous questions and sex ed see my post here):

Q: how do you know if you have a crush on someone?

A: Thank you for trusting me with this question. A crush is when someone likes another person in a romantic way. Someone who has a crush might feel different things like excitement, nerves or glee around the person they have a crush on. A good way to tell how you’re feeling is tuning into how your body feels around them. Do you feel warm inside around them? Does your heart beat a little faster? Does your voice change pitch in unexpected ways? Does your stomach drop a bit? These could all be signs that you have a crush on someone. It’s up to each person to decide whether or not they have a crush on someone and how to act on it. Did that answer your question?

source

Something to Read:  I do everything I’m told by Megan Fernandes I recommend the whole collection but if you only have time for one, PLZ make it this poem.

Something to Write: I sometimes need the allure of airpods to get me to go on a walk. A podcast or audiobook gets me to walk the dog further than I’d otherwise but I also find a walk with airpods eerie. It’s like sealing yourself in a container, which can sometimes be nice and necessary but often feels contrary to the purpose of going for a walk. When I write, I pull from observations I didn’t even realize I was making. I want to be a better writer so I want to pay more attention. Go for a walk and write about 5) things you see 4) things you hear 3) things you can touch 2) things you can smell and 1) thing you can taste.

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a tender back to school month! Submit an anonymous question to be answered in future sex ed questions answered issues here.

<3 Zoe