Conversations (about politics) With Friends

and reads to get you through the week

Nov 03, 2024

Hi reader from the future! I wrote this post just before the November 2024 election. While the bits about Kamala Harris aren’t exactly relevant anymore, I’m leaving it up because I think it contains some good tidbits about talking about politics, especially the strategy called mirror-align-bridge. Thanks for reading!

It is blessedly almost the end of election season. I’ve been talking non-stop with my best friend Sofia about politics and trends we’ve noticed. She’s an economist who used to work at the federal reserve. I’m a sex educator who worked at Planned Parenthood in a red state when Roe v Wade was overturned. We realized we know quite a lot about the two primary issues of this election season— abortion and the economy. We thought we’d share some of our collected insights here in the form of a conversation guide. If you know that elusive voter in a swing state who is still deciding whether or not to show up to the polls, here are some tools to have that final conversation and get them to the finish line— voting for Kamala Harris on November 5th.

If you know that elusive voter who is still deciding whether or not to show up to the polls, here are some tools to have that final conversation and get them to the finish line.

It goes without saying that it’s hard to talk to people across difference in this election. Most of us are extremely calcified in our views. If, by any chance, you’re talking to someone who might have some wiggle room, Mirror-Align-Bridge is a strategy that might be useful.1 First, ask them questions about what their top issues in this election are and repeat back at least one thing they tell you. For example: I hear that having a strong economy is important to you. Or, I hear that safety of your loved ones is really important to you. Next, align with at least one thing they say (even if what they’re saying feels totally wack, you can always find one thing in what they’re saying that you can align with). For example, I too care about the safety and health of the people I care most about in this world. Next, make a bridge between whatever their core issue is and something concrete that a Kamala Harris presidency offers. Say something like, Can I tell you about one Kamala Harris policy that speaks to the issue you’re concerned about?

I’ll show how this can be done with a few different voter profiles.

The voter who cares about abortion access but thinks another Trump presidency won’t actually be that bad. They’ll say something like, Trump isn’t even really anti-abortion, he’s pro state’s rights:

To that, I would remind them that candidates in election season are decidedly different during policy making season. It is possible that republicans get the house, senate, and presidency in a few days. They also have a majority on the Supreme Court, meaning there would be absolutely no checks and balances left to stop them. With that sort of majority, they can easily get rid of abortion, ivf, and birth control as they’ve threatened to repeatedly. It’s enough of a core issue for their base and for them personally.

Also, leaving it up to states really is that bad. There are countless stories of how one state’s abortion restriction or full ban has led to loss of life and diminished quality of healthcare.

The leftist voter living in Pennsylvania, Michigan or Arizona who is threatening to not vote or vote third party:

The primary focus for this voter is typically Palestine and the Biden’s administration abject failure to prevent loss of life in the region. It’s important to acknowledge this person’s very real pain and to share your own. We don’t know whether Kamala Harris will do better and that’s a scary thought. A Kamala Harris vote is a vote for conditions where organizing for Palestine is more possible and safer. Trump has bragged about harming protesters and expressed interest in building waterfront properties in Gaza.

I’ve seen various social media graphics this week directing people to only vote Harris if you’re in a swing state but if you’re in a safely blue or safely red state, to vote third party. If you follow politics closely, you know there are more and more states where that once clear red/blue delineation is now muddled. A recent poll in Iowa showed Harris up in the state by 3 points. Trump won that state in 2020 and 2016. Imagine if progressive voters in Georgia in 2018 or 2020, voted third party thinking Georgia was a solid red state. Unless you live in Massachusetts or California, I urge you to be cautious about your perception of whether your state is red or blue.

It’s also worth sharing with these voters some info they might not know about third party candidates. Jill Stein and the Green Party use Trump’s lawyers to stay on the ballot. The European union’s Green Party recently asked Jill Stein to step aside. She’s not more pure or ethical just because she doesn’t win.

I’m particularly concerned by white leftists choosing to sit out this election or vote third party. Leaders of the Uncommitted Movement who are mostly Palestinian-Americans and Arab-Americans have directed supporters to cast anti-Trump votes and NOT to vote third party. If you want to be a part of a movement, be a part of it. Follow the directions of movement leaders.

Finally, remind them that what they do in the voting booth is completely private. They can vote Kamala Harris and tell their friends they voted third party. Their friends won’t be able to find out who they voted for.

The voter who’s primary issue is the economy and is leaning towards Trump:

Again, it’s important to mirror and align yourself with this person’s concerns. The economy is “good” right now for high earners and those invested in the market. For most, wages are too low and the cost of everything (markedly housing and food) is far too high. How you answer to this person really depends on what their concerns are. If they have concerns related to their personal finances, you could talk about Kamala Harris’s plans to reduce costs of housing, healthcare, and food, and to support small business owners. If this person is more of a capitalist concerned with the health of the market in general (the finance bro boyfriend comes to mind). You could refer to them to countless resources from economists about how Trump’s policies would slow the economy.

Okay, that’s all for now. You can do this! You know enough! It’s uncomfortable but having difficult conversations makes friendships and relationships stronger. If you do have a conversation, please let me know. I’d love to hear about it.

Ideas to get you through this week:

A cozy page turner (see full list below). Get outside and move your body. Clean something vigorously. Watch tv while doing something with your hands (puzzling, knitting, coloring). Take a hot bath or hot shower. Take a cold bath or cold shower. Bake or try making a new recipe. Give yourself permission to take time away from your phone and constant election monitoring. Go for a walk. Call a friend and talk about something other than the election. Play with your pet. Offer to walk someone’s dog if you don't have one. Make a holiday gift guide. Online shop even if you don’t buy anything. Decorate for the holidays. Listen to this song 500 times. Make sure to eat whatever sounds good to you. If you’re having trouble eating, eat something simple like you would if you had a stomach bug: bread, apple sauce, rice, eggs. Make plans with friends or family members to stay in touch throughout election day. Make a plan to have company on election night. If you’re sober, I recommend this post about strategies for staying sober.

From top to bottom, engaging reads to get you through the week:

The Lightning Thief, Rick Riordan
The Golden Compass, Philip Pullman
Cowboys are my Weakness, Pam Houston
Parable of the Sower, Octavia E. Butler
Babel, R.F. Kuang
The Fifth Season, N.K. Jemisin
City of Girls, Elizabeth Gilbert
A Tale for the Time Being, Ruth Ozeki
The City We Became, N.K. Jemisin
Dragonfly in Amber, Diana Gabaldon

You got this! We got this. Thank you for reading and engaging. If anything resonated with you, please leave a comment or email me back and let me know.

Zoe

I learned this strategy at the center for equity and inclusion.